Sex and Marriage

WHO SHOULD I MARRY?

Statement of Problem 

On several occasions I have encountered the singles saying "I can't wait I can't wait I want to marry" while the married are saying "I wish I waited". 

In tonight's relationship talk I want you to reflect upon this interplay of emotions shown by singles and married. Then, watch out for the problematic of marriage. Marriage is a very delicate issue and that's why you should count this opportunity to get a digest of marriage worthwhile. 

Introduction 

In life, three things change your life either for good or for bad and they include : Who you meet in life; your purpose in life; and who you marry.  For this world to be a better place we must concentrate on the families. Therefore,  you must look for these qualities from who you are to marry. This is because who you marry will affect the rest of your life. 

1. Look up for morality: You should marry that man/woman that has respect and dignity for human life. Don't marry a gangster/villain because you think people will fear him or that he will protect you. Marry that man/woman that has respect for both spiritual and physical realities. That person that treats others as fellow human beings and not as brutes. He or she will surely respect you for who you are. 

2. Look up for Character: Favour is deceitful and beautiful is vain; so, looks are not enough to decide who you marry. The person that lies to you today will lie to you tomorrow. If he threatens to beat you today he will beat you tomorrow. For instance, a lady that fights her siblings, parents, colleagues or boss hates authority and so, she must fight you as her husband. So, pay attention to his/her character before you say yes.

3. Look up for compatibility: Amos 3:3 says "two cannot work together unless they agree". So, you should marry that man/woman that can protect your interest. Compatibility does not mean similarity but the ability for two people to get along. For example, if you love to talk and your partner loves to listen, then, you are compatible. Therefore, before you marry ask yourself "are we compatible? Do we believe the same things about life? Can he/she promote my basic values? Consider your purpose for life before you choose your life partner. For example,  to become a singer you should marry Michael Jackson because if he features you your album must surely sell. In other words, you should marry that person that can accommodate your vision.

4. Look up for companionship: Many people treat marriage as if it is a contract: "I bring money I pregnant you and you give birth you rear them". That's a crap. Marry your friend. That's why I used to tell you that it is best to turn a friend into a lover than turning a lover into a friend. So, don't try to make your wife your friend instead out of your friends choose your wife; and vice versa. Your friend should be your husband/wife because people try to be more real when there's no pressure - he is just my friend; she is just my friend and they live their normal lifestyles. If you can accommodate his/her normal life as a friend that's who you should marry because s/he will surely be your closest confidant.

 

5. Look up for capacity: Marriage is not for boys/girls but for men and women. Capacity means maturity that is financial maturity, emotional maturity, mental maturity, social maturity and spiritual maturity. Marriage is a decision and before you go into it you should ask yourself "am I ready for this decision?". In fact, if you don't have money don't look for a wife go and look for work or start up business. This applies to both men and women because nobody wants to marry a liability. 

Conclusion

Be careful of undue influences when choosing your life partner. Don't be wooed by money. Don't beg anybody to marry you. Marriage is a commitment. If the man/woman that you have feelings for and wish to marry doesn't appreciate you enough to marry you let them go. Someone that loves and appreciate you will surely come for you. Also, do not use sex to try and hold a man/woman to marrying you because it doesn't work that way. 

REMEMBER: Love is like a butterfly that goes where it pleases and pleases where it goes. It moves at will and can never be forced. 

Ikechukwu Peter Ovuoba a.k.a Onwa Izhi 

www.opetblogs.blogspot.com

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Special thanks to Sam Adeyemi his excerpts forms part of this piece.